This month hasnt exactly been what i wished it to be.

People asked questions that i cannot answer, dont wish to answer, dont ever want to have an answer. I'm sorry for not being the person that you wanted me to be on that day. It broke my heart when you said "No, thank you for being there."

What happenes, when the person you looked up most to, just ends up disappointing you time after time. It was supposed to be a joyous occasion, but everyone knew the happiness exuded was forced, it wasnt genuine. This time, you broke so many people's hope in you, not just mine. Everyone believed you could have been better, everyone held you in somewhat of a high regard, but this action, just brought everyone down.

I dont want to feel like that, cause i love you, but you have just disappointed me so many times, that I have lost the 1 person that I always looked up to.

work hasnt been that good either, especially when you have a supervisor who practise favouritism. It wasnt our fault, it should have been the admitting staffs that should have made sure that everything was there. Not the staffs that come in only 8 hours later! and those people have been working there for years!! they should know the protocols better than i do!

but when you scolded only me and the other girl and not the rest involved, it just shows that all your talk about you not practicing favourtism is nonsense. And well known for your sarcasm, you had to just say those words that made me feel so demoralised that i dont even feel the joy in working. Now i dread going to work, dread everything i do. I always loved what i did, now i'm unsure.

mood has been really low, its so low i dont know what to do anymore, sleepless nights just adds on to it. God Help!!