arghhhh..i'm like suffering frm insomnia or smthg!! i juz cnt slp at nite!! all i do is toss n turn!!haiz...its like..his image juz keeps resurfacing when i'm abt to slp..n in the end..all i do is think abt him..oh gosh..seriuosly!! i need help!! i'm goin mad la...

n its like..its not only abt him tt i think of...christmas is drawing near...n i dun really feel tt enthusiastic abt it as b4..mayb coz of lotsa other reasons...

1) its my first christmas wifout my maternal grandparents...n da thing is...i was close to my granma...i juz miss her so much...i miss her presence in her hse..its like..when i go visit my aunt who's still stayin thr...i feel so empty..its like..wierd...juz typing this brings tears to my eyes..i really really miss her la!!..its like..i always dreamed tt she'll b thr to see me graduate..even though only frm poly..but still...my older bro n me even wished she'd b ard when we haf children..then she'd b their great granma...sigh...all these thots..as much as i try to let go..i cnt..its too painful..not esp when i was ard when she collapsed..n when i saw da doctors fighting in vain to resuscitate her...i miss her..i truly do...

2) well..here comes frens...lotsa things had happened..n i dunno..mayb aft so long of not goin out wif u guys..i feel alil out..its like...haiz..i dunno la...

3) i hate spending christmas 'alone' again...i wan my sumone special...preferably 'him'...=)

4) i bloody haf attachment during tt wk..how much more terrible n horrible can it get man!! i mean..ya at least i'm healthy n can b wif my family n frens to celebrate it while my poor patients r stuck in tt crammy dull hospital...but still..it sucks to work during festive mths...

anyways...was at alex's hse warming...i like his sis's room..its so cozy can..his kitchen's really nice too..i wan a hse like tt nxt time!!